This will mean very little to anyone, but I have to just share my excitement that after 19 years, many close calls, one full sell-off, and numerous crossed oceans, I have today… FINALLY… completed a full Target collection.

I’ve been stuck on my final 3 for a year (An Unearthly Child, Black Orchid and Mindwarp for anyone who’s interested), but picked them up on eBay within 48 hours of each other for a combined cost of 4 pounds. Too easy.

I’m happy now.

JP

 
QUICK, BEFORE THE ELECTION STARTS!

HATCHES:
Billie Piper had a boy. Fandom sort of over that stuff now. But really, well done Billie. Congratulations!    

MATCHES:
It’s election time everywhere! Well, everywhere except the UK and other places. Still, it’s a game the whole family can play. Speaking of, has anyone checked that thse two aren’t related? The resemblance is uncanny!


 ”Praise the Company!”

DISPATCHES:
But it’s not all beer and giggles, and so we must observe the international collapse of the squee as David Tennant says he’ll not be ‘teh Doctor forevar’ and puts a shelf life on his time in the TARDIS. Fair enough, you might say. The lad done great, but he has a career to think about. Comes with the role, even. The show is built to withstand such changes. Good luck to him even. But no. And Outpost Gallifrey’s Forum implodes. And – oh, Jon!
“Not a dry eye in the house”? “Sad day”?
Do me a favour…

THE CREDIT CRUNCH HITS WHO-CORNER IN TRADEME.
And it’s tough all over for Troughton annuals. An $80 starting bid draws little interest:
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Books/Rare-collectable/Annuals/1950-today/auction-182169363.htm
But there’s a bargain to be had ($5 starting bid – no reserve) if you look:
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Books/Rare-collectable/Annuals/1950-today/auction-183214509.htm
Keep shopping, kids!

DAVE ATTEMPTS TO FIND A YOUTUBE SONG FOR THE 9TH DOCTOR AS CATCHY AS ‘HANDLEBARS’
Last month’s whip-round of YouTube videos bore some fruit…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLiXUbCuaTY&feature=related
-and Dean Grey returns, this time to Canary Tower:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMbbt4uptlU

LOOKS MIGHTY FAMILIAR? (WITH FREE EARWORM!)
Looking forward though, and to this year’s Chrimbo bonanza. Morrisey! Kirwan! Cyberwraiths! Eh?
We’ve postulated before on the inspiration for these chaps (as seen in the trailer). Taran Wood Beasts gone digital? Zog from the Ultimate Adventure gone gimp? Dave reckons he has the answer. And it’s catchy!

OH, MORGAN… (NO, NOT THAT ONE)

The worlds of Shortland Street and Who converged once more on October 15th, geek-totty staff nurse Morgan’s birthday, don’t you know…
“Hunter feels out of his depth trying to get Morgan a geeky present for her birthday. When Sophie suggests a beauty treatment, Hunter agrees. Later, Hunter sees Gerald’s present, Dalek salt and pepper shakers, and feels he has trumped Gerald’s present. Hunter surprises Morgan with a pampering session with, the Aporé Day Spa. Morgan is privately unimpressed and feels nettled when the beautician criticises her appearance and hard sells her beauty products.
Morgan defends that the products are associated with animal cruelty, and are too expensive. Hunter only hears the ‘too expensive’ part and buys her a pack. Pushed to the limit, Morgan decries the products and pampering session. Hunter is left crestfallen that he has misjudged Morgan.”
Heartwarming stuff. But enough to make you demand Morgan return her geek badge with the on-screen realisation of her present:
“Oh you got me THOSE! Gerald, thankyou!” [she plays with her presents] “Kill! Crush! Destroy!”
Eh? Even a five year old gets the catchphrase right!!! Why so slipshod on the research TVNZ?
You’re not still shamefaced at turning down the new series in 2005 perchance…?

Just a quick dispatch from the South Bank!

I attended the recording of an episode of Have I Got News For You last night, and was greatly surprised when the guest host turned out to be Tom Baker! 

Lots of Who references on the night (though how many make the cut I don’t know – 2 hours of recording are cut into 30 minutes) and Tom was on great form. 

It airs in the UK tonight (Friday 31st), so will be on Youtube soon enough I would imagine. Well worth a watch if you get a chance. 

JP

Your bumbling correspondant is aware that over the last few weeks he’s promised this and that to those of them what he knows, in the form of YouTube videos. This evening he hit upon an idea – instead of emailing the links, why not just post them? Genius. He’ll go far, that one. But before he does go too far, here are some of the links to start things off – fee free to add your own in the Comments section. Hell, feel free to comment, even.

For Al: We’ve all seen the great Star Wars Titles as done by Saul Bass clip. Excellent stuff. But how about the Dr Who titles done in the style of Hustle? Nice!

For Dave: Courtesy of Jamas, here’s the Daddy of all them Existential Questions put about by the cast of Doctor Who over the years. No McGann, sadly, but I bet the actor himself may have well asked the same question at the time, y’know, in his head. While acting.

For my beloved Candy- I mean, for Al again, here’s a fan-made (no, wait! Come back!) video about the Time War. Oh sit down. You’ll be fine if you don’t click on any of his other ones.

You want sophistication? Too bad.

And finally from me, Only Fools and Horses improves Arc of Infinity no end.

How about you? Watcha got?

EARTH DOESN’T EXPLODE, UN SEC GEN THANKS TORCHWOOD
No? Well, maybe in six months, given it’s off-line for the moment. It’s bound to happen.
Good old Torchwood Cardiff.

MCGANN NOT RETURNING
Everybody get back to your work. Sigh.

COME BACK, RETURN OF THE CYBERMEN!
Spoilers for Christmas. Or not. Obviously it was a big dilemma for RTD regarding whether to finsh the over-length Journey’s End on the now de rigeur ‘what-what-what’ spot and undermine the fanw sadness with a teaser for the next ka-rayzey yuletide romp. So a trailer, without the story title proper was made. Now we know the title, have an idea of what the story’s likely to be based on about, and we’ve even got a picture of the removed scene. But are we any happier? Eh? I ask you.

OH GREAT, NOW HE’LL GET TO DO THAT ALONS-Y THING ALL OVER AGAIN…
Is Russell T Ovey, aka Midshipman Frame in the frame to play the Doctor? A clue: no.
Still, sells newspapers, right guys?

LEAVE SYLVESTER ALONE!I
It must be a very slow day in the Tolkien sandpit when they all start talking about a ten year old story added to a year-old even and make an insta-theory. Add to that speculation based on twenty-year old photos (ooh – he does look like Ian Holm! In Ghostlight) and you get the same sort of high hoping that gave us all McGann conniptions last month? Will the next Hobbit movie have a Syl-bo as its lead? A clue… no.

TARDIS MONEYBANK BAFFLES BLOGGER
by the blogger.

The TARDIS Moneybank is sheer genius fun. I’d have loved one when I were a kid but microchips were still the size of houses back then, and I’ve had never have filled the money box with the cash I had. Eee we were poor.

Anyway, for all the Martha-rasping, top-lamp flashing, cash-injecting Vwoorp-vwoorp action you can muster, this’ll do. And it’s to scale with those knock-off figures you got from the warehouse – at last, a home for Space Pig and Chip! but there are problems with bits of it, and I’m not just talking about how the sample of the Doctor sounds like he’s saying the machine stands for ‘Time And Relative Dimensions In Spayn’ (the wag) like this…

Rose? She’s in there too?

You think I’m going to bit the top of my money box? What, am I trying to get in to find Rose or something? I give up!

AND FINALLY…
Some people thought ‘Handlebars’ was a doff too far, apparently. Davies Master Plan? Phssh. What would Brian Boitano do? (hat tip: Dave)

On the cover of the latest DWM Catherine Tate is quoted as saying “Could Donna come back? In sci-fi, anything is possible”, and with the rumours buzzing around now about next year’s specials, you could quite easily believe that anything indeed could be possible. Even something as familiar and, well, as expected as just that.

I may not be alone in thinking last series’ return of Rose Tyler a pretty unnecesary distraction, prompting a resolution to a story arc that we’d likely all thought was already neatly finished, for better or worse. As one discussion thread on Tolkein fan site Theonering.net about the forthcoming Hobbit movie/s suggests, many reunions and familiar faces end up making universes once bursting with potential smaller with each return visit – the Star Wars prequels may be a case in point. So with Who I think there’s a fine path to be treaded. It might be a winner with the present audience (and that may be the bottom line for the show’s producers), but it’s not helping the ‘go-anywhere-do-anything’ promise the original series was built on, and which the new series’ first episode reaffirmed. New things, new faces, new places are as vital to the series as the changing of the lead actor- they’re all in themselves mini-regenerations. That said, there’s always room for some personal double-standarding, so with the buzz of this week’s rumour still in my ears, may I say to no-one’s surprise that this character’s return would be most welcome.  

But it’s also a certaintly in life that not everyone gets a certain return ticket, and your faithful editor is no different. Over the last year ZeusBlog has farewelled Jono, original co-editor of Zeus Plug, and now I feel it’s my turn to say “goodbye… soonish”. There’s a world beyond the blog that offers a chance to flex my sketching muscles a little more, spring and summer will inevtiably demand the DIY routine, and as some of you already know, there’s the issue of a third family member’s arrival in January to address, all going well. 

So it’s not quite goodbye from me, but ZeusBlog is likely to be a quieter place in the months to come, especially with no new episodes to review or further monstrous matches to contest. Fast Return will stick around – it writes itself. And then there’s the Christmas Special. And after that? Well, anything’s possible, isn’t it?

THAT’S NO MICROBE…
Scoop.co.nz reveal their colours once more in another feature filler. Bless.

TAKING THE MICKEY OUT OF TORCHWOOD?
Not so long ago was the time we were sure we’d see both Smith and Jones in the Hub for Torchwood 3 – the closing minutes of Journey’s End seemed to confirm the rumour. But what’s this? No inclusions among the cast announcement for Children of the Damn- er , I mean Earth? Noel Clarke declaring the Mickster has left the building? Oh noes! What next – Freemaagyeman.com binging us down to Earth?

TORCHWOOD RADIO PLAY TO DESTROY ALL OF CREATION
Not that we’ll be around to worry about such casting pecadillos by the time the radio play is aired. Thanks to a complete fluke of timing and some hadron collider thing in Switzerland (picture courtesy of our graphics department), there’s a s-l-i-g-h-t chance we might not be around to hear the ending.*

(*unless that is the intended ending)

LOST HARTNELL STORY FOUND!
It took a while – perhaps not as long as The Lion to appear on our shores, but yes, The Time Meddler is finally in NZ. In abundance! Grab your copy… well, anytime you like, really.

THERE IS NO CONSPIRACY! ™
Eagle-eyed (and therefore weird-looking) readers have alighted on the internetical publishing of TSV 59 and within its entrails, the Greatest Show fanalytical treatise A Carnival of Metaphors writ in large (type) by a friend of this blog. But what’s this? Expurgated text? Rumours of last-minute editorial intervention? What gave? Er, to be honest he can’t remember – it was probably nothing, really! Paul?

DAVIES RUSTYPLAN SET TO MUSIC?
We think so.

And…

PARROT APES MUTANT, VANISHES LIKE DODO, REAPPEARS LIKE COELOCANTH.
Let’s hear  it for Leonard, the recently-recovered African Grey Parrot – he can mimic Daleks! Wow. Very cool if it’s a big Dalek voice like the Emperor. Dalek Caan? Not so much.

IT’S JUDOON!

Yes, those stroppy coppers with the canny scanners definitely got the better of the Silurians in the final round, claiming a tarnished gold, and saving their reputation with it. Bronze went to the winner of the actual final bout between overall losers, the Krotons, who snatched victory from the claws of ignominy by a gnat’s whisker. And so to the outright losers – the plonkers of the universe…

Terileptils – what happened?

Once the proud standard-bearers of Season Nineteen, destroyers of the sonic screwdriver (oh, how we wish you could do that again!), undone by a race once thought designed by a child and only given some weight by Mad Larry Miles.  In the end it came down to firepower, and perhaps Thad’s campaigning – but for whatever reason, those tinclavic miners go back to the pits, embodying their workplace in their Death Zone performance. Cheer up, guys. Perhaps you can have another go with Robot Rumble. How about it, folks?

It’s here! The final round to determine BOTH the best of the losers of the original Monster Mash, and the ultimate loser – the weakest, most fan-forsaken monster in the Death Zone. Without further ado let’s go to the Aggro-Dome and meet them:

Vying for Best of the Worst: JUDOON versus SILURIANS
Both teams didn’t get off to a great start, with the Sycorax pulling their blood magic and the Rutans being electric jellyfish respectively, but second time may prove the charm for one team today. So, bereft of giant dinosaurs and body-scanning technology it comes down to a quick-draw of blasters versus head thingies!

Vying for Worst of the Worst:

As Jamas says, the Krotons were probably always going to be here, whether they deserved to be or not. The question would be who would they face? Last night the bout between Vervoids and Terileptils ended in a draw – panic! Someone had to lose to meet the crystalline menace. Our touch-judge (right) said ‘Vervoids’. But then Foo arrived with a late vote – and it’s Terileptils!

So: scintillating silica-based scientists versus terribly technical terileptils it is. Neither are particularly manoeuvrable – who wins then?

Okay so. Only four teams remain in either the Upper or Lower field, leaving two bouts apiece to get us closer to determining simultaneously who is the better team of the losing pack, and which team is the outright plonker of them all. Let’s deal to the Upper field first, and its not-so rubbish combatants:

UPPER FIELD

Location: The Slough
Two teams trudge their way through the mire of this round – ancient Earth Reptiles the Silurians and the swimmers of the blood seas, the Haemovores. Man’s earliest nightmare meets his ultimate destiny. Will the future vampires find cold blood to their taste, or will the racial convictions of the Lizard Kings be enough to repel the horrors of the deep? At right, an uninvolved spectator.

Location: The Great Wall
There’s little the Krillitanes could gain genetically from beating the Slitheen last round apart from a zip-top head and occasional flatulence, so their Tetrap-donated advantages still apply. Their opponents this round however are the mighty martial Judoon and their flesh-disintegrating blasters. Who wins?  Don’t ask the Gastropod at left, it’d blow his heart, and his mind.

And those are the Upper Field’s teams! Now to the real contenders for the loser’s crown…

LOWER FIELD

Location: The Concrete Jungle
The losers of round three assemble for another flappy fight, and the first two of the four are parallel universe were-men the Primords and silicon IQ-vores the Krotons. Watch and marvel as unarmed beast-men rumble with teetering metal petrol bowsers with frontal cannons. Our watchful Jacondan touch-judge at right thinks the Primords have it in the bag – is he on the money, or just a bird-brain?

Location: The Thermal Baths
As steam wafts about this final battleground of the round, two teams emerge from the mist. The Vervoids are for the most part silent, only the rustling of their leaves and the occasional squeak of trainers gives them away. The Terileptils are also in their element, with small laser arms and hunting knives, their history as mining slaves means they’ll not shrink from rough and ready brawling. It’s cat and mouse in the hothouse, and only this Pipe Person (at left) thinks he knows who’ll walk away from this bout, and the ignominy of the Lower Field…

Place your bets, and let the best worst teams win!