You’ll laugh, really, but it appears that with 2007 being such an enormously busy year what with the blog starting, the blog’s teething problems, commitments to other zines, broken arms and trips hither and yon, Battle of the Seasons, the possibly-awaited follow up to 2006′s controversial Companion vs Companion series (it was in the pubzine. Leela won), was never completed. Colour us stupid!

For the sake of anyone who was following at home, and in order to prevent any future discoveries of the thing in a Mormon Church basement in Hong Kong or something, here’s how it was going to turn out:

THE FINAL

Season 5 VS Season 13

So it comes to this – monsters. How clairvoyant! But which season has the best? Which offers the most originality between a year of stories that feature two returning monsters from the stable, and a new monster with built-in sequel to boot; and one based around the idea of pastiching other people’s classics? They’re both the Devil’s sweetmeats! And it’s the Devil’s job deciding between the two.

It seems false to elect the season of which very little survives because the implication therein is that one is basing their choice on the reputation of fan mythology. On the other hand, choosing Season Thirteen surely smacks of populism and a lack of originality! Perhaps the choice is Solomon’s: if we were to lose both seasons right this moment, which would we miss the most – that which we’d enjoyed or knew the less about? Which would we want back?

Feeling all a little Meryl Streep at this moment, if we HAD to choose, Season 13 could be surrended, letting go of one year of Tom Baker whilst knowing there are two, maybe three other years which are about as good. With Pat Troughton, S5 is the one to watch out for. Fans can be wrong about the things they revere – they’ve been wrong before and there are still some out there who think we were wrong to be so rose-tinted about ‘Tomb of the Cybermen’ once it was discovered.

But you know what? The reputation it once enjoyed was great not because it was misplaced, but because for those fans in the 80s who carried a flame for it, it had been to some a formitive experience – Season Five was the monster season built for kids to enjoy with a friendly Doctor, young companions and plenty of harmless scares, compared to which the sophisticated horrors of the Holmes-Hinchcliffe era Season Thirteen come across as something a little harder, a little less childlike, a little more bloody, a little more frightening, without the reassurance of an uncle-like Time Lord to steer the young viewer through. It’s that formula of childlike wonder and frights that makes the new series the success it is today – not the more mature ‘serious’ adult horror of later years that older and slightly more complacent fans would embrace in its wilderness years.

So in the end, with our three intrepid voters unanimous in agreement, the Best. Season. Ever. crown goes to:

SEASON 5

JP, PA & JE

Torchwood‘s back! And front! And left! And… well, has it ever been right? Clearly the producers have been giving it some consideration as the show has had some change over the intervening months. The Torchwood team has been forced to grow up without Jack around, so there’s no surprise that they are back to the general squabbling as soon as he returns.

No, that’s a lie. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is a show that concentrates on the team with the addition of Spike… I mean, James Masters as… well, I won’t give spoilers away here, so let’s call his character John for the purposes of this review. John’s come to town, and now Jack and the team have to deal with him. Old secrets are raised, size jokes are made, and we get to see many of the characters show actual depth for a change.

Owen’s clearly been swapped for someone who isn’t as much of a prat, but I’m sure we’ll get to see him return to form in Owen-centric episodes. Tosh has… slightly become more confident, and Ianto has become… a bit of a prissy boy, really. Unless the production are careful, he’s going to become an extremely wet character and the first against the wall when the revolution comes (and, indeed, this is only a single entendre). But the focus of the episode is, of course, on Gwen and Jack. Gwen has moved on in her life with Rhys, and clearly doesn’t pine for Jack in any way with her long stares with large puppy dog eyes in his direction. Jack remains as jubilent as ever, hiding a mask of anguish, and still hits on anything that moves (although because this is a “proper adult series for the 21st century”, this means anything male). And I’m sure James Masters will be back as he got most of the best lines and has plot information that hints at an over-arcing (in a good, non-RTD, way).

Although we shouldn’t judge from the first episode (not that that’s going to stop us), the series has lightened up, with actual humourous moments given more weight and fit nicely into keeping the episode from being too angsty-dark, but we’ll see if they keep that up. I have to say I liked that side of it, and hope they do develop that more (without, obviously, becoming a comedy sit-com… although considering the series is British, it would actually be funny, unlike certain products from other countries).

This episode is a good reintroduction to the team, and the trailer for up-coming shows promise a lot of action (but then again, they wouldn’t show lots of the team filling out paperwork). I’m not saying the series is off rocky ground, but it looks like there’s a team with planks of wood around the hull, trying to pry it back into the water.

JE

2007. It was a game of two halves. We began the last twelve months in Cardiff and walked the globe with Martha and journeyed to the end of all time or something like that with Jack and the Doctor’s hand. Peter came back for char-i-dy, Kylie saved Her Madge and got a honour for her efforts, and Dalek Sec became a cover model for the Radio Times. TSV turned twenty, RTP! turned ten, and Outpost Gallifrey turned into Doctor Who News, apparently. But what for Fast Return were the most interesting things to take place in 2007?

Well, don’t expect miracles. Instead, here’s a selection of things that slipped through our net. It’s all here, after the jump:

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One might think with the somewhat subdued and narrowly-focussed response to TSV‘s 75th issue and its 20th year of existence that this issue’s success is mainly down to the masterly artwork on its wraparound cover and little lese. This is an oversight – to be sure, Alistair Hughes’ cover is a striking and vivid piece, reliably faithful to its sources and composed pleasingly on the eye, and easily the best cover in recent years; inside however, there’s more going on than just the status quo.

TSV 75 is less a look back than some – ZeusBlog among them, may have predicted. Of course there’s an article by current and former editor Paul Scoones on its creation, but there’s also much of the new in the mix, and the recent – Amy Mebberson provides the highly appealing artwork accompanying the new series round-table reviews (one of the zine’s main features) and Lorna Fleming and Jez Strickley provide their own articles, respectively on the DW canon and the symboloism of the series’ traditional top-tier monsters that, while they would certainly benefit from a firmer editorial hand, are evidence of new blood. Elsewhere Chris Skerrow continues his very enjoyable voyage through the BBC Past Doctor adventures (with only one instalment remaining the series itself has been a mainstay for some issues), and Jon Preddle researches the original series’ screenings in Singapore – reading the Straits Times so we don’t have to. It’s scholarly stuff, but this sort of thing needn’t always feature in The Disused Yeti, and when it’s put together as well as this, even no news of old footage being unearthed is worth publishing. Oh, and a special mention to the continued Drabble Who Challenge section, particularly the rather fun entry by Tim Beverstock. We didn’t know you had it in you, lad!

So it’s a decent mixture of old and new, with solid long-term contributors like Jon and Neil Lambess boosting the page count while newcomers are bedded in and Ms Mebberson’s artwork gives the zine some well-needed breathing space from all those lines and lines and lines of text. There’s even some extremely fannish fun to be had with the Vote Hi Fi article linking (and I use that term very loosely) The Chase with Series Three. As an anniversary issue there’s nothing ‘special’ here (the dropped ball that is no Sylvester McCoy interview after his second visit to NZ in three years is puzzling and warrants explanation), but there’s enough for a few sessions’ read rather than a hurried cover to cover dash. And why not – after twenty years of Her Majesty’s Fanzine and with the series back on air there’s every opportunity for a leisurely leaf through the pages, right?

PA

Come one o’clock today, several of us congregated at  the Toi Pōneke Gallery in Wellington for the launch of the first of a new line of Faction Paradox books published by locals Random Static.  Faction Paradox, for the unaware, originally spun off from the BBC Doctor Who novel range, but are now doing very well on their own, thank you.  As usual, you can read about the series in any good encyclopaedia.

Once everyone was gathered, Kelly from Random Static began proceedings, and soon the ghostly image of author Daniel O’Mahony appeared on the wall to read us excepts from the novel.

Although the decidedly dodgy connection lost a word here or there we got the gist, and dispensing with the video for an audio only experience seemed to help.  After some amusing voices from Mr O’Mahony, the book was officially unveiled.  The author couldn’t be there in person, but cover artist Emma Weakley was on hand to sign books.

Newtons Sleep can, of course, be ordered from Random Static’s website.

AB

Dear Martha

We were sorry to hear you’d gone so soon. Truth be told, you’d really grown on us. There wasn’t that much to disapprove of – you’re independent, funny, spirited, very easy on the eye, and you had that endearing way of bringnig that very cool theme tune around with you when you appeared – that was excellent. You were everythign a companion is exected to be. But now you’ve left him, to look after a family that – let’s be honest, doesn’t owe you too many favours. And you left in such a strange fashion (mind you, you should have seen what happened right after you exited those doors. Phew). Twelve stories, some brilliant, some pedestrian. A year playing John the Baptist to a shrivelled Tweety Bird in a wire cage – none of us saw that coming. And then he let you leave. He hardly gave you a chance, did he?

But you did well – very well, indeed, despite the circumstances. Jack liked you too, and you got a quick snog in during that episode about the sentient sun – nice work! So farewell then, for the mean-time. We’ll be sure to look out for you in Torchwood. Speaking of which, pack some disinfectant and don’t let Owen near you – you may have fancied your last workmate, but they do things very differently in Cardiff.

Above all, take care. We’ll see you later in the year

Your loyal followers.

Dear Donna

How are you? We met briefly last Christmas, but you might not remember us that well – there was an awful lot of shouting going on at the time. We hear you’re to be the Doctor’s new companion soon? Well dnoe!

Normally we’d offer you some tips towards being a Doctor Who companion, but we’ve a feeling you’ve got a pretty good handle on that already. And maybe you’re ignoring the rest? Vive la difference, as they say in France. France, dear – it’s that big bit southwest of Germany. In Europe.

So then – thanks to the tabs and paps we think we might have a few ideas as to what you may be in store for this year. Good luck! There’ll be some challenges in store for you, if we think we’ve got your persona right. Challenges indeed – classical history, crime literature – that’s a bit broad and deep for a Heat reader perhaps, but we know you’ll rise to the challenge. Then there’s likely to be Daleks at some stage, Sontarans for sure, and who knows – maybe some other classic’ monsters and baddies toutted to pop by before the gap year arrives. From at least one redhead to another, we’re rooting for you – especially if you can keep that Time Lord of yours on the straight and narrow. Do your best – the last one was dogged by some inexcusable mooching about the one that got away(ish) in 2005. Stand your ground – and if you play your cards right we think you could be a real breath of fresh air.

Most of all, ignore the moaners, love. Do your best. He may say he’s not a ‘second chances’ guy, but we know different, and what sort of fans would we be if we didn’t give you a second chance as well?

All the best,
Your fans

What? What?? WHAAT??! December gone already? Spoilers ahoy!

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Self-proclaimed Earthonomist Mister Copper is heard to say mid-point through this year’s festive special that ‘Christmas is a celebration of violence’. Having viewed RTD’s latest efforts I’m in no position to argue the negative.

(spoilers follow)

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…it goes without saying that that should also have a North Pole. And who’s to say gallifrey isn’t one of those planets? And if they do have a North Pole, then who should live there but this guy? Oh some fan will tell you there’s a festival in the New Adventures called ‘Otherstide’ or somesuch, but we’ll let them ramble on in the dark to themselves. No, it stands to reason that Rassillon is and was the real Gallifreyan Santa – he has it all – the white whiskers, the grotto, the booming laugh, the presents scattered all over the place, and if anyone knows who’s naughty or nice, he proves himself quite up to the task.

Cod theories aside, a very merry Chrimbo from all of us at Zeus Blog. And a safe one. We’ll be back in a few days with a review of Voyage to the Bottom of Kylie, or whatever it’s called (give us a chance, we are hemispherically challenged after all!), and our inaugural Fast Return wrap-up for the year, and then before we know it it’ll be 2008. Change – you, me, everything. Zeus Blog will still be around, so stay tuned…

Before anything else can be said about the latest issue of RTP, heartfelt congratulations on the silver issue and tenth year of publication has to come first.  Important milestones of which everyone involved should feel justifiably proud and deserving.  God rest ye, merry gentlemen! 

In the always entertaining letters page David Ronayne makes an impassioned, and as it happens successful, case for dropping the ‘alternative NZ Doctor Who Fanzine’ from the masthead.  It’s a good letter, but untimely for my review because given that the ‘other’ New Zealand Fanzine celebrated a significantly numbered issue and very important birthday, and saw its release on practically the same day as RTP 25, it’s very difficult not to make comparisons.
So I’ll refrain, except to say that I have always seen the ‘alternative’ moniker in the same context as ‘alternative lifestyle’ or ‘music’ without ever having thought of RTP as a specific ‘alternative’ to the other three-lettered Fanzine.  It just isn’t.
So having established what RTP 25 isn’t, what does it offer?A great Cyber-head on the cover, for one, proving that simple is often best.  Interesting how the shape of the ‘jug handles’ subtly echoes the RTP logo – just lovely.I’m running out of good things to say about Peter Adamson’s Cydonia, the current instalment of which concludes in this issue.  Adamson’s use of black and white (without ever having to hide behind mid-tones as some of us do) is exquisite, and if the anatomy is sometimes a little too stylised, the always-stunning composition of frames and pages more than compensate.  The one page ‘preface’ offers an absorbing and concise account of the history of this wonderful strip, without ever sounding self-congratulatory – although it has every right to be.I couldn’t believe my luck to find another David Ronayne Torchwood article, and enjoyed it even more than his first one.  The tone is positive and as well-reasoned as ever, even if once again I couldn’t agree with everything.  I might be straying dangerously close to a comparison to say that this coverage of Torchwood is one of RTP’s extremely welcome points of difference.Some may find the substantial TARDIS Tales material a little too much of a good thing, although I couldn’t resist the warm nostalgic glow that long-ago tales of Saucer imparts, and my admiration for Graham’s work has been increased by this look at the man behind the chicken.  Whether by accident or design, the Christmas-related illustrations lend RTP 25 a very welcome festive feel, which a sentimental old fool like me always appreciates.I noted with some amusement that the interviewers name shares equal billing with the interviewee on the excellent Fandom Paradox piece, but in reading it I see that this is fully justified.  Full marks to Peter for wording questions which are equally as interesting as Kelly’s answers!AH