The Biggest Loser – Round Four

Okay so. Only four teams remain in either the Upper or Lower field, leaving two bouts apiece to get us closer to determining simultaneously who is the better team of the losing pack, and which team is the outright plonker of them all. Let’s deal to the Upper field first, and its not-so rubbish combatants:


Location: The Slough
Two teams trudge their way through the mire of this round – ancient Earth Reptiles the Silurians and the swimmers of the blood seas, the Haemovores. Man’s earliest nightmare meets his ultimate destiny. Will the future vampires find cold blood to their taste, or will the racial convictions of the Lizard Kings be enough to repel the horrors of the deep? At right, an uninvolved spectator.


Location: The Great Wall
There’s little the Krillitanes could gain genetically from beating the Slitheen last round apart from a zip-top head and occasional flatulence, so their Tetrap-donated advantages still apply. Their opponents this round however are the mighty martial Judoon and their flesh-disintegrating blasters. Who wins?  Don’t ask the Gastropod at left, it’d blow his heart, and his mind.

And those are the Upper Field’s teams! Now to the real contenders for the loser’s crown…


Location: The Concrete Jungle
The losers of round three assemble for another flappy fight, and the first two of the four are parallel universe were-men the Primords and silicon IQ-vores the Krotons. Watch and marvel as unarmed beast-men rumble with teetering metal petrol bowsers with frontal cannons. Our watchful Jacondan touch-judge at right thinks the Primords have it in the bag – is he on the money, or just a bird-brain?

Location: The Thermal Baths
As steam wafts about this final battleground of the round, two teams emerge from the mist. The Vervoids are for the most part silent, only the rustling of their leaves and the occasional squeak of trainers gives them away. The Terileptils are also in their element, with small laser arms and hunting knives, their history as mining slaves means they’ll not shrink from rough and ready brawling. It’s cat and mouse in the hothouse, and only this Pipe Person (at left) thinks he knows who’ll walk away from this bout, and the ignominy of the Lower Field…

Place your bets, and let the best worst teams win!

7 Responses to “The Biggest Loser – Round Four”

  1. Thad Ritchards Says:

    As much as I think the Haemovores will probably win, as they still should have the reptile fear, and the Silurians have an in-built heat ray, the Ecocenes win.
    To feed into the clear editorial bias, I’ll give the win to the Judoon, mainly for their militarial might.

    Dammit, I think the Krotons are going to be the ultimate losers, as I see the Primords taking them.
    I think the location here gives the plant people the head start, and with that, they win.

  2. Timb Says:

    I reckon the Silurians followed by the Judoon, then the Primords and lastly the Vervoids…

  3. Alden Says:

    Haemovores! I disagree with Jamas for no reason whatsoever :)

    The Judoon will beat the Krillitane no trouble at all…

    Primords versus Krotons is no contest. All the Primords have to do is push the Krotons over and they’re stuffed.

    And I’ll add to the consensus and nominate the Vervoids to win the last battle, thereby being eliminated…

  4. Paul Scoones Says:

    Silurians (the advantage of attacking from a distance)
    Judoon (superior firepower and military precision)

    Primords (brute strength defeats higher IQ)
    Terileptils (superior firepower and intellect)

  5. Peter A Says:

    Hello Zeus Blog Editor, you saucy minx. I have some picks to peak your pique…

    The Haemovores will outdo the Silurians, because it’s not about weapons. In the words of an older man than I, you’ve got to have faith-a-faith-a-faith-ah. Baybeh (et cetera). And I just don’t see those Silurians summoning their wholesome beilef in science to fend off the warty wampyrs. I’m bound to be outnumbered though…

    …because bout two IS about the guns, and the training, and the application. I have no bias, Jamas. I just know I’m right. Rhinos FTW.

    Primords versus Krotons… tricky. Is it to be drunken monkeys overturning shopping trolley robots, or will those big big guns do their worst. I’m going to say Krotons. They may be directionally challenged, but none of them ever fell off a huge tank. Because they ARE huge tanks, and there’s the genius of it.

    Terileptils versus Vervoids. Heh. Probably Terileptils – all that time down t’pits, they must be tougher than tough (but with an aesthetic in robots to simply die for!)

  6. jpreddle Says:

    Gotta b:

    Silurians (powerful third eye)
    Krillitanes (they can fly)
    Krotons (although blind, they have built-in weaponry)
    Terileptils (better tactical skills)


  7. Foo Says:

    Oh dear, forgot to vote in the previous round, sorry about that!

    Anyway, my picks are:

    Silurians will fry them, of course if the Haemovores can sneak up, it might be a different story.
    Judoon are just so butch – Flob, Klob, job, mob, they win
    Primords monkey men made from slime will roll the Krotons
    Vervoids have ultimate victory over the lizard creatures

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