Monster Mash: Round Three


Greetings, ladies and gentlemen to this, Round Three of our inaugural Monster Mash, and the first encounter between the winners of our first two rounds!

We’re seated here in the Death Zone on Gallifrey, a mosaic landscape of wildly varying terrain and climates to determine the answer to that most enduring of questions: Which Doctor Who Monster could beat all the others up before breakfast?

Winners are decided by YOU through the etheric medium of the feedback form below, with ties to be adjudicated by our glamorous assistant, the utterly lovely Jonovoratrelundar. Sixteen teams will be slugging it out today, to become eight a week from today, and then four, and then two, and then. Well, the Spice Girls put it best.

But to a different set of monsters – let’s meet our teams!

Here are the Winners of Rounds One and Two:

Location: The Hidden Valley
Teams: Ice Warriors versus Sycorax
It’s the Martian face off! The Ice
Warriors are led by their Marshall Ozorr and his sacred broadsword. Can the Sycorax whip up some blood magic to secure the win?
Initiative goes to: Sycorax

Location: The Savannah
Teams: Refusians versus Cheetah People
Two teams play a game of cat and mouse in the tall grasses of the savannah. The Refusians remain invisible – but on foot the Cheetah People are also camouflaged – and their speed and senses are legendary! Initiative goes to: Refusians

Location: Abandoned Village
Teams: Sontarans versus Draconians
Two cultures bred in the art of war, rigid
discipline and the noble tradition of self sacrifice. The Draconians tower over their opponents, but will the squat Sontaran troopers prove the sturdier foe?
Initiative goes to: Draconians

Location: The Coral Island
Teams: Menoptra versus Sea Devils
Has there ever been such a mis-matched meeting? Once again the Menoptra have the advantage of swift flight, while the Sea Devils can bide their time under the waves of the Inland Sea. This could be a long game – who will survive? Initiative goes to: Sea Devils

Location: The Pines
Teams: Rutans versus The Racnoss
Only the ghostly trees of this arena bear witness to the struggle between the swift children of the Racnoss and the crackling Rutan Host. Will the Rutans’ morphing talents be enough to see them through to the Semis? Initiative goes to: Racnoss
Location: Spaceship Graveyard
Teams: Tractators versus Toclafane
Among the rusting and irradiated hulks of a hundred ill-fated space vessels two races from Earth’s end itself stalk each other. Will the insane Toclafane outwit the slow and calculating Gravis – or do the gravity-controlling Tractators have a whole junkyard as their arsenal? Initiative goes to: Tractators

Location: The Hothouse
Teams: Axons versus Krynoids
The stifling and misty hothouse is thick with the tendrils of a forest of alien flora, and its heat is a magnet for the energy vampires of Axos. Which team will outdo their foe – and will they be able to tell each other apart?
Initiative goes to: Axons

Location: The Swamp
Teams: Mutts versus Ogrons
Neither team will have the advantage of swift movement in this most treacherous of boggy fens. The air drones with buzzing insects, while underfoot foul waters gather. The Ogrons come bearing arms – but who is at the greater disadvantage in these conditions?
Initiative goes to: Mutts

Let the Voting Resume!

10 Responses to “Monster Mash: Round Three”

  1. Thad Ritchards Says:

    [Still haven't got an end date in there Pete!]

    Some of these ain’t easy!

    Teams: Ice Warriors versus Sycorax
    Sword versus sword, but Ice Warriors do have the sonic… if the Sycorax could draw blood with their initiative then they’d win, but I think the Ice Warrior armour would be too tough, so win to the Martian natives.

    Teams: Refusians versus Cheetah People
    Cheetah don’t need sight to hunt, and that’s all the Refusians have. Welcome to playtime for cats!

    Teams: Sontarans versus Draconians
    This is too tough, and either guys could win. But with first strike proving the first edge, I’m giving this to the Draconians.

    Teams: Menoptra versus Sea Devils
    Oh man, that is a long game. I don’t recall the Menoptra having depth charges, but since they wouldn’t fight under the sea, the fight would have to be on land, where the Menoptra would emerge victorious.

    Teams: Rutans versus The Racnoss
    Consider the effect of knives on Jello. It cuts, but the Jello barely notices. Plus, once again, the Fifth column effects makes the Jello a winner.

    Teams: Tractators versus Toclafane
    Although gravity is a very effective weapon, here I’m thinking the Toclafane speed gives them an edge and there’s too much debris for the Gravis to work out which bits to suck on, so win to Toc.

    Teams: Axons versus Krynoids
    What care Axons for plants? They’ve got their own tendrils, and these are electrical! Win to Axos!

    Teams: Mutts versus Ogrons
    I think the conditions and experience give Ogrons the edge, and although it’s a mud wrestle, I’m giving the win to them.

  2. the_other_dave Says:

    Hmmm, (as Deep Thougt would say) Tricky…
    That said the more I think about it the more consistent I think the results for this round will be…

    Ice Warriors v Sycorax: Nice red and green motiff going on there. I think while this is sword to sword, you’ve got to look at the teams in this one. The Ice Warriors are a noble fighting race with complicated caste structure etc, while the Sycorax really are just scavengers. For all his “fightin’ hand” talk I don’t see the Doctor facing off anywhere near as well against an Ice Lord. Sycorax may rock, but only as a teen gang against the Martians.

    Refusians v Cheeta People: I think the Refusians really aren’t that up to fighting, but are more likely to use their power to run and hide. I bet those big shaggy coats pong a bit too and would make an easy scent trail for the cat people.

    Sontarans v Draconians: As Thad notes – this one is tough. I would suggest that given equal numbers, equal tech, equal weapons etc it’s all really going to come down to initiative and style, and in both cases the Draconians have got it all over the clone rangers. A close and bloody battle though.

    Menoptera v Sea Devils: My money is on the Sea Devils, because I’d rate the 3rd eye guns over the point and clicks of the Menoptera. Shooting fish in a barrell, but in reverse.

    Rutans v Racnos: Rutans – don’t ask me why.

    Tractators v Toclafane: Toclafane, quick and zippy they should be able to avoid whatever the Tractators may throw at them, and assuming they “float” (anti-grav?) they should be realtively immune to gravity attacks.

    Axons v Krynoids: Axons absorb organic matter, Krynoids are.

    Mutts vs Ogrons: Again, the win has to go to the more organiased military types. And again I’m surpised to see the that these are the Ogrons. Hairy ape upset into round 3.

  3. Peter A Says:

    Here’s Al!

    Ice Warriors Versus Sycorax

    Broadswords and cloaks versus broadswords and armour. The Sycorax might have the moves but the Martians will work a bit of blood magic of their own this time.

    The Sycorax are Iced!

    Refusians versus Cheetah People

    Preternatural feline hearing and awareness should overcome the Refusians only advantage. The Invisible hulks are cat-nip this time.

    Sontarans versus Draconians

    A very close one, this, but once again I’m going for armour and implacable strength over sharp tailoring and assumed bushido talent.

    Sontarans won’t be beaten at their own game!

    Menoptera versus Sea Devils

    Assuming the range of the Sea Devil’s weaponery is adequate, air-borne Mothmen will go to pieces under fire from submerged bombardment. The flame comes to the moths, this time and it’s another turtle triumph.

    Rutans versus the Racnoss

    The Racnoss’s main advantage of size wouldn’t worry the sparky Rutans. The Racnoss might ensnare them with webbing, but they’ll be fried spiders when it comes Racnoss-on-Rutan action. Mr Blobby wins – just!

    Tractators versus Toclafane

    The Woodlice have gravitas, but are just too slow for the darting, zapping mini-Death Stars.

    The Tractators are decimated.

    Axons versus Krynoids

    It may be the same costume – and illustration (Now you’re getting it, Peter!) but the Krynoid is going to be stir-fried by the noodles.

    Electro-tentacles beat regular tendrils, I’m afraid!

    Mutts versus Ogrons

    I have to continue my anti-insect crusade here. The Ogrons are armed remember? It’ll be a Mutt-hunt all over again for the poor Solonians.

    What fun this is!

  4. the_other_dave Says:


    Would now be the time to admit that I’ve been confusing the Refusians with the Spiridonians for the last two rounds – d’oh!

    Doesn’t change the outcome though.

  5. Peter A Says:

    Yeah I covered that in Round One – the Refusians are actually the least agressive of the three invisible races! Meh.

    I have to say, I’m a bit confused by your three-eyed Sea Devils too. Last I saw of them they had point-and-click guns as well…

  6. the_other_dave Says:

    I think there is a reference somewhere about the Sea Devils (original not Warriors ones) waepons somehow being related to the Silurians third eye – either a mechanical contrivance thereof or something (hence the disk shape). Might be remembering wrong. It seems like better firepower than the Menoptera ones tho.

  7. Peter A Says:

    In any case, here are my calls:

    Ice Warriors vs Sycorax

    Those whips and swords have a far more limited range than the Warriors’ sonic weapons, and that hard armour will, presumably, be built to withstand sword blows. Others have discounted the ‘blood magic’ aspect, and I think with a foe as hardened and disciplined as Ice Warriors, they may well be right. Ice Ice, Baby!

    Sontarans versus Draconians

    Tough call. I think the Sontarans will have this on armour, and that’s about it.

    Refusians versus Cheetah People

    Yup, again I agree. Being invisible is only one solution, and leaves you open to being detected in all other ways by a hunter completely in their element. Victory to the Cheetah People.

    Menoptra versus Sea Devils

    Head shot! While the Sea Devils are under water I would say both teams are at a disadvantage with their weapons, so some strategy would have to be played. Either they lure the Menoptra down within shooting range and risk revealing themselves, or they go on land and duke it out there. They appear to be the sturdier race, but I can’t see them matching the Menoptra’s manoeuverability. I’m voting for the Vortis crowd.

    Rutans versus Racnoss

    The Racnoss can outrun, ensnare and corner the Rutans, but once they’ve got them – what then? In fact, ensnaring the Rutans might be hard enogh – like trying to wrap snot. The Rutans have this round.

    Tractators versus Toclafane

    The Toclafane might be able to shoot and move quickly, but among the wreckage there’s cover for the Gravis and his group, and that old cunning fox (who once created his own tunneling machine out of bits and pieces – and people) and the strength of the Tractators (who pulled the TARDIS apart) could be more than a match. I see a game of bait and catch – and no release being played here. Don’t underestimate the Gravis!

    Axons versus Krynoids

    We all saw this coming – Axons win.

    Ogrons versus Mutts

    The buzzing midges might prove enough distraction for the Mutts to get some blows in, but the Ogrons have the guns. Sigh. This will be the last round they’ll win.

  8. Timb Says:

    Ice Warriors
    Cheetah People – that was hard. Suggest CP have the feline advantage (plus on horseback)
    Sea Devils
    Axons – just
    Ogrons – because I’ve no idea what the mutt look like

  9. Alden Says:

    Ice Warriors vs Sycorax: The Ice Warriors are going to win this, because their sonic guns have a better range than anything the Sycorax have, and as trained warriors they’re handier with a sword. The disintegration whips are a worry, but there’s only a narrow range in which they’re effective.

    Refusians vs Cheetah People: I agree with pretty much everyone else so far: the Cheetah People won’t have any trouble at all sniffing out the Refusians.

    Sontarans vs Draconians: the more military race wins here – Sontarans by a mile!

    Menoptra vs Sea Devils: air supremacy wins! The Sea Devils are sunk!

    Rutans vs The Racnoss: I can’t see any way the Racnoss would have any chance against the Rutan, sadly. :)

    Tractators vs Toclafane: The Toclafane have guns, the Tractators don’t. Bye bye Tractators!

    Axons vs Krynoids: Hmmmm, the Axons’ natural resilience sees them through this round, I think!

    Mutts vs Ogrons: Mutts, sadly, are no match for Ogrons.

  10. Foo Says:

    Better late then never I suppose!

    Ice Warriors v Sycorax: The Sycorax might have the brute force advantage, but the Ice Warriors are all class and much more graceful. Win to Ice Warriors.

    Refusians v Cheetah People: Invisibility has pluses, but the finely honed instincts of the Cheetah People give them the eventual win.

    Sontarans v Draconians: Damn – this is tough…dare i say draw? I think the Sontarans have the advantage in hand to hand, but Dragons have blasters. I guess the Sontarans also have their hand stasers too, so I think they’ll win.

    Menoptera v Sea Devils: Once again, winners due to their environment. Sea Devils emerge victorious.

    Rutans v Racnoss: Another toughie…Spiders win although the Rutan might give them a bit of a stomach ache.

    Tractators v Toclafane: Could go either way but with the battle location and skillful use of spaceship junk, the Tractators come out on top.

    Axons v Krynoids: Damn, it doesn’t get any easier. Based on the hot house environment, those Krynoid should be able to influence the plant life to ensure result to them. Krynoids win.

    Mutts vs Ogrons: Big guns ensure a win for the Ogrons.

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