Monster Mash: Round One


The setting: The Death Zone of Gallifrey:

The Set-Up: It’s Monsters beating up other monsters to determine which race – in a fight – are the ultimate champion! No robots, mind.

The Rules: Voting is open to YOU the reader. Assume the beasties have their own kit (but no spaceships of course). The most-voted for team wins each of their particular rounds and progresses to the next level.

Let’s begin…

 Location: The Labyrinth
Combatants: Ice Warriors versus Nimon

Mars’ finest come armed with sonic weapons and great swords for their noble class. Weaknesses include extreme heat. The Nimon can emit deadly beams from their horns and have great strength. Initiative is awarded to: Ice Warriors

 Location: The Catacombs
Combatants: Silurians versus Sycorax

Earth’s Silurians have built-in cranial emiters that radiate various energies including a lethal ray. The Sycorax have swords, spears, and blood magic (providing they get first blood!) Initiative is awarded to: The Sycorax

Location: The Plains
Combatants: Refusians versus Vogans

The invisible Refusians have their relative lack of visibility as their greatest strength (although they don’t always have the wits to cover their tracks). They are also very strong. The Vogans are armed with projectile firearms. Initiative is awarded automatically to: Refusians

 Location: The Ice Caverns
Combatants: Cryons versus Tractators

The Cryons of Telos are armed with energy blasters and thermal explosives, although exposure to even temperate climates can be fatal. The Tractators are unarmed, but have a Gravis as their coordinator. Their talent is to manipulate local gravity fields. Initiative is awarded to: Cryons

Location: Sky Arena
Combatants: Tetraps versus Menoptra

 Aerial combat! The Tetraps can fly for short distances and can paralyse with a bite. Their weapons fire nets. The Menoptra of Vortis can also fly and carry energy weapons. Their organisation is military. Initiative is awarded to: Tetraps

 Location: The Causeway
Combatants: Judoon versus Rutans

The Judoon carry flesh disintegrating blasters and are built, literally, like rhinoceri. Representatives of the Rutan Host can assume most animal forms and kill with electrical impulses. Movement in their natural state is awkward  and exhausting. Initiative is awarded to: Rutans

 Location: The Rainforest
Combatants: Macra versus Krynoids

The parasitic Macra have great claws and strength on their side, using a hypnotic gas to overpower living creatures around them. The Krynoids consume animal matter and can control plant life within a localised area, movement in their natural state is limited. Initiative is awarded to: The Macra

 Location: The Temple
Combatants: Voord versus Draconians 

Our final bout of the day pits the rubbery Voord – silent amphibious assassins with nasty knives against the noble Draconians and their sword and blaster combo. Initiative is awarded to: The Voord

Let the Voting Commence!

15 Responses to “Monster Mash: Round One”

  1. the_other_dave Says:

    Wow, so cool to finally see this up. (I still can’t believe Companion Smackdown wasn’t a toe to toe slug-feist – like THAT cover!)

    OK – My votes (and reasons) for Round 1:

    1.1, Nimon Vs Ice Warriors: (or naff parasites verses an organised fighting force).
    The Nimon aren’t really geared up for warfare and are more of a creeping insidious thing, and I doubt the Ice Warriors are easily fooled. In a fair(ish) fight my money has to be on the cool customers from Mars.

    1.2, Silurians Vs Sicorax: Same sort of logic again. Do you vote for the guys with knives and swords, or the ones who have difficulty waking up in the morning? Sicorax it is.

    1.3, Refusians Vs Vogans: Surely both are equally likely to run off and hide in a corner. If it came to a fight the invisibility advantage is a clear winner, but that said both sides probably going to duck and cover.

    1.4, Cryons Vs Tracators: Again a creeping (in this case most literally) unknown against the least threatening monsters in the show’s history. My logic above says Cryons…. So it’s got to be the dancers in bad costumes over the… er, dancers in bad costumes.

    1.5, Tetraps vs Menoptera: “Hail, I am Hilio fraught with the loss of my world, a being of light and shiny fluttering things, I come to you across this great expanse, to explore, to conquer, to…”
    Tetrap: Bang, Rip Rip, Chomp Chomp Chomp.

    1.6, Judoon Vs Rutans: Dim witted military police versus a shape changing, electrocuting assassin army. The Judoon are toast.

    1.7, Macra Vs Krynoids: Hmmm, tricky – and you’ve set it in the rain forest too… Not sure which level of development you’ve got the krynoids at, but I’d go for Macra here (I assume we are talking the old series ones with smarts rather than the new series giant’s with brains like vegetables).

    1.8, Voord vs Draconians: Ohh, the main event, this one I would pay to see. Ninjas Vs Samurai. Again both are a bit tricky as they have had a lot of fan embellishments over the years. I’m running with my memory of the novelisation Voord, svelt and lethal, and the Star Tigers, organised military Draconians. Again context would pay a part but in an open area, head to head my money would be on the Draconians… just.

  2. Alden Says:

    I take it we vote by commenting? :)

  3. Thad Ritchards Says:

    Ice Warriors versus Nimon…
    Presumedly sonic works on the Nimon, and the Nimon’s poor perception skills would enable an easy Ice Warrior ambush. The Nimon strength would make it costly, but I think ultimately the Ice Warriors would emerge victorious.

    Silurians versus Sycorax
    While Silurians have their evil eye, they need the terrifying race memory to be truly scary, so the Sycorax are already ahead. With better range weapons and better fighting skills, Sycorax rock!

    Refusians versus Vogans
    Er, Vogans are bit of a push over, even moreso with unseeable enemies, so win to Refusians.

    Cryons versus Tractators
    Cryons are better for short sniping attacks, whereas the Gravis can easily put them down (however you read that), so win to Turlough’s fear.

    Tetraps versus Menoptra
    Organised military over unorganised and short flight capability every time. Win to Menoptera.

    Judoon versus Rutans
    (I will refuse from pointing out that I read this as the more usual face-off)
    Judoon have military, but Rutan’s have a near undetectable Fifth Column that can take out the Judoon from within. Win to Rutans.

    Macra versus Krynoids
    (Let’s pretend the Macra aren’t atmosphere challenged by the setting)
    Does the gas work on plants? Either way, the amount of foliage sounds like the Krynoids have the numbers on their side. And when they get big enough, Krynoids are near-invulnerable, so it sounds like crab-cakes for dinner!

    Voord versus Draconians
    An early ambush by the Voord would be painful, but once the Draconians get their measure, their fighting skills will mean win to Draconians.

  4. Alden Says:

    I guess so! :)

    Ice Warriors versus Nimon: Ice Warriors are trained warriors, the Nimon tend to avoid direct combat. Martians for the win!

    Silurians vs Sycorax: the Silurians weren’t into physical combat either – they left that to the Sea Devils and stuck with making lethal viruses. Assuming they didn’t bring along their chemistry set, they’re going to lose to the big stompy guys with the swords.

    Refusians vs Vogans: while the Vogans have guns, the Refusians counter by being invisible. Refusians!

    Cryons vs Tractators: The Tractators can pretty much kill them just by hugging them.

    Tetrap vs Menoptra: Bats eat insects. >:)

    Judoon vs Rutans: This one’s hard to call – the Rutan Host have had a lot of experience with fighting big stompy guys with guns. OTOH, the Judoon are cops, and probably have been briefed on every life form they’re likely to face and know the Rutans strengths and weaknesses. I’m going to go with the Judoon.

    Macra vs Krynoid: I think setting it in a rainforest tips it over the edge in the Krynoids’ favour. If all else fails, it can just sit on them, assuming that it’s a full-sized Krynoid.

    Voord vs Draconians: I think the Voord are smart enough that they’ll be able to ambush the Draconians and defeat them easily.

  5. Timb Says:

    Ice Warriors







    The Voord

    And no commentary :P

  6. Peter A Says:

    Great suggestions so far, guys!

    Might as well pitch in…

    Ice Warriors versus Nimon

    This seems to be the Ice Warriors’ battle. They have superior firepower, a clear command structure, and they’re a warrior caste. Next!

    Silurians versus Sycorax

    The Sycorax have a clear advantage in getting initiative. If they hadn’t, it might have been trickier and the Silurians could have drawn their wild card and sicced a dinosaur on them. As it was, first blood means the win.

    Refusians versus Vogans

    I screwed up here! Mixing up the Refusians with the Visians (they look so similar), although you could argue the Visians are just ‘beasts’ while the Refusians at least presumably have a culture (even if they’re not noted bearers of arms). Put purple cloaks on them and call them Spiridonians and we have a different game altogether, So they stay as they are, and I think they win.

    Cryons versus Tractators

    The all-important initiative allows the Cryons to strafe their opposition with hot lead. If they take out the Gravis, it’s all over for the otherwise docile Tracts. Can the Cryons do it? Probably – but I think the Gravis is a little too clever to be standing out in front. As soon as they regroup, the Tractators win this one.

    Tetraps versus Menoptra

    Let’s see… the Tetraps are likely to be out-flown, out-manoeuvred and out-gunned. They do have that handy quadrosopic vision thing so technically can’t be surprised (hence the initiative), but the Menoptra have to be faster and more agile. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!

    Judoon versus Rutan

    Blob-lovers – you’re wrong, and I’ll tell you why. The Rutan may have initiative, but their movement has to be half the rate of the Judoon. Moreover, any attempt at shapechanging will be met with one of the few teams in this competition who can scan for that sort of thing. Add to that their rather impressive lawgivers- er, guns, and the rhinos have this one.
    (I know – I’m surprised too!)

    Macra versus Krynoids

    The rainforest is a natural advantage. Krynoids outnumber and have the advantage of cover. They win a likely slow and very strange tussle.

    Voord versus Draconians

    This is a tight one, and I agree with pretty much everything everyone’s said so far. Voord might get first blood, but they’re at a disadvantage once they break cover. Dragons score victory.

  7. the_other_dave Says:

    “Silurians versus Sycorax

    The Sycorax have a clear advantage in getting initiative. If they hadn’t, it might have been trickier and the Silurians could have drawn their wild card and sicced a dinosaur on them.”

    Given the milage people seem to be giving Krynoids over Macra for forest home turf (has anyone looked at coconut crabs or Coenobites – they are LAND crabs which can do quite a bit of damage to crops), one has to wonder how effective the Pet T-rex would be in confines of the catacombs arena?

  8. the_other_dave Says:


    Just a query about the initative awarded here: Are we talking about the traditional D&D initative (4 Sontarans are mooching down a corridor, turn a corner and there are some Zaraphin – who swings first), so all the fighting is head to head; or are we talking about a more dramaticly imperative idea where the group of Usurians know the Androgums are coming and quickly conconct a complicted food surcharge tax to ensnare them.

    It sounds a bit silly I know but the second option allows monsters whose strengths are subdefuge, stealth, misdirection and deciet (Voord, Marca, Rutans) to use there natural abilities to their full advantage rather than trying to simply slug it out with less imaginative, denser and stupider heavies and brusers (Judoon I’m looking at you).

  9. Peter A Says:

    That’s a fair question. I conceived Initiative along the D&D lines (I’m sure the late Gary Gygax would object to my fast and loose interpretation) – it’s whom fate decrees, in the brief point of first contact, may fill that unforgiving minute, to paraphrase Kipling.

    That said, there’s some license taken for the sake of the game. A D&D ‘turn’ of ten to thirty seconds probably isn’t enough time for the Sycorax to collect a blood sample, process it and use it against their enemy. It might not be enough time either for a Rutan to slaughter, analyse and adopt the form of their adversary either – but you could probably give both some license as evidence of what they’re normally capable of – their modus operandi. I’d definitely say it’s enough time for the Voord to find a dark corner or eave to drop from.

    There may be further options for wild cards in the next round, when we meet the other sixteen teams of the match!

  10. Peter A Says:

    While I’m here, here are Al’s picks:

    Ice Warriors versus Nimon

    The Nimon could only apparently be stopped by their own weapons and can probably project heat with their horns, but at the end of the day the Ice Warriors are armoured, armed and in an army. Nimon burgers anyone?

    Silurians versus Sycorax

    Even if the Earth reptiles were the ‘Colin Howard pulp sci-fi version’ and busted out a Myrka or ‘whatever-o-saurus’, the Sycorax are Warriors and the Silurians are Scientists who were fairly pants in a game of bull-rush with a heavily outnumbered Major Baker.

    Refusians versus Vogans

    The Vogan armed forces were so brilliant against two Cybermen on Voga, weren’t they? Invisibility is quite an advantage, especially against a race who look and move like heavily-botoxed pensioners.

    Cryons versus Tractators

    Guns versus gravity. The Tractators will Slater them!

    Tetraps versus Menoptera

    I’m still having difficulty imagining a pot-bellied ape-bear in flight. But in a fight I don’t fancy the Clan of the Moth’s chances.

    Judoon versus Rutans

    The concept of the Rutans has always been far more formidable than their realisation, whereas the Judoon are efficient and intimidating.

    A close one, but I think the Rutans are too slippery a customer to be overcome by mere brute force. Rhino burgers, anyone?

    Macra versus Krynoid.

    They both have size on their side, but even though the Krynoid could call up some help from the local flora; it still finally comes down to pincers versus fronds.

    Result: coleslaw!

    Voord versus Draconians

    Such a difficult one, this. But I have to vote for the race which has a star-spanning empire and culture based on the Art of War, rather than some sneaky scuba divers. (Even if they could look like the Colin Howard pulp sci-fi versions…)

  11. Thad Ritchards Says:

    BTW, Pete, I see your valid point re the Judoon/Rutan mash-up, but you’ve already cemented the view of the Judoon.

  12. Foo Says:

    Ice Warriors versus Nimon
    Has to be the Nimon. While the Ice Warriors are old favs, the Nimon just keep coming and coming and coming. That’s the problem with a clone race – always too many of the blighters and they swarm like locusts.

    Silurians versus Sycorax
    This is a toughie! I want to say Silurians, ‘cos they are so cool, but I think the Sycorax with their big nasty swords would simply hack the Silurians into steaming pieces of reptile.

    Refusians versus Vogans
    Another tricky one here. Those Refusians are a bit namby pamby, but invisibility has its pluses. I guess as long as the Refusians can stay invisible, then they will triumph. Still, I wouldn’t want to get hit by one of those Vogon guns – it looks like they would smart.

    Cryons versus Tractators
    Tractators win hands down. Cryons are very pretty (aw, they are so shiny and sparkly) but boy do those gravity fields pack a wallop. I can hear Turlough writhing on the ground now…

    Tetraps versus Menoptra
    Tetraps win. With four eyes (or is it three?), it’s very hard to sneak up on them. As long as they bite first, they can be saying fangs for the memory…

    Judoon versus Rutans
    With the ability to possess others, the Judoon could already have a traitor in their midst before they even begin. While the Judoon are big and strong and have a penchant for leather battle gear, those Rutans have the advantage and it’s going to be an electrifying experience for the Judoon. Mr and Mrs Host win, although they might turn up to the award ceremony dressed for a wallow.

    Macra versus Krynoids
    Nature versus crab sticks. Nature wins (with a little help from their friends). If they were fighting in a holiday camp in the middle of the desert it might be a different story.

    Voord versus Draconians
    Those tricksy Voord, so slimy and sneaky…but as long as the Draconians get in first then the mighty Dragons will win. Of course, potential backstab damage from the Voord does make it very close to call. Dragons win but I suspect casualties will be high.

  13. rtpeditor Says:

    This has to go to the Nimon simply because they have the advantage of the labyrinth being their home turf. How effective can an Ice Warrior truly be if the terrain keeps changing, allowing the Nimon to make ambushes where-ever and whenever they want.

    This goes to the Silurians whose third eye gives them the upper hand over a bunch of sword swinging blood junkies. Plus the catacombs is a restriction on sword swinging space and the Silurians have shown themselves adept at navigating such places. Night vision via thier third eye perhaps?

    Winners: Refusians. These guys hardly need to do anything at all as in no time the Vogans will all turn on each other and do themselves in. That the Refusians are invisible just means that the Vogans will be more paranoid than usual!

    Immediately the ice caverns give the advantage to the Cryons, although the slippery nature of ice means that the gravity powers of the Tractators would be harder to fight against. In the end, woodlice would survive a nuclear bomb and the Cryons would have a hard time penetrating the outer shell of the tractors who could wait the Cryons out if need be. Final result: a win to the Tractators.

    It’s all over. The Tetraps should just give up now and retreat from the field! All round, 180 vision isn’t going to save you from something dropping from the skies. Victory for the Menoptra.

    All power to the Rutans, showing considerable pace for a green blob as they execute with electricity via touch. The Judoon are toast as these shapechangers make short work of opponents who need to methodically check everything for enemies before killing.

    No matter the territory (apart from perhaps the sea) the Macra are on to a losing streak, the Krynoid power of plants simply too broad to try and overwhelm with power or numbers.

    Voord 1: Draconians 0. Rubber suits beat shoulder pads any day. The slim Voord would have no issues navigating the corridors of the temple while the Draconians would be bound up in protocol and shoulders that wouldn’t fit through the doorways.

  14. the_other_dave Says:

    I know the voting has closed, (and I like the idea of a vote with these – very egalitarian) but something struck me this afternoon ruminating on the Krynoid/Macra thing. OK most people have voted for the krynoids to win, making crab meat of the opposition, but… how.

    OK, youve got an eco system on their side, but with their hard carapaces and shell-like cladding the Macra are going to be very tough nuts to crack. Much harder work than the squishy mammals. They krynoids have no weapons and seem to work by strangulation/suffocation/squashing of their prey none of which seem to exploit Macra weaknesses.

    Just a post voting thought…

  15. Zeus Blog » Blog Archive » Help is at Hand! Says:

    [...] What you need of course is less of that ’shipping’ smoochy finale stuff and some more mindless monster-a-monster violence. A new batch would be silly (Hath versus Adipose? Too soon!), but there’s still the question of who will lead the bottom league play-off of last competition… [...]

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